I hadn’t planned to provide any further commentary about this year’s Super Bowl ads — I’ve already done my obligatory post — but I’ve received an actual, honest-to-dog request, which was unexpected, and I am nothing if not accommodating.
The thing is, the request was for a Super Bowl Weepy Awards, and while it isn’t unheard of, advertisers aren’t known for capriciously hitting the tearjerk button in the middle of a fun, entertaining, widely viewed sporting event. You just don’t want to bring down the mood. (This is not to say that none of this year’s ads drew a sniffle — as the owner of a very large, very clingy, very destructive-when-left-alone sweet boi, “Saving Sawyer” definitely kicked me right in the sentiments.) So instead of tearjerking ads, I’m going to focus on that genre traditional to and beloved throughout the Super Bowl: multi-million-dollar ads that are, intentionally or unintentionally, creepy AF.
I present to you: the inaugural Creepy Awards 2023.
Honorable Mention: T-Mobile, “New Year. New Neighbor.” (RAPP Worldwide)
This honorable mention might sound kind of mean, I acknowledge, but I hope it can be accepted in the spirit of sympathy in which it is intended: Today, we recognize whatever John Travolta has been doing to his face. Dude, it’s an inescapable fact that men in your industry are allowed to transition seamlessly into silver foxes while women are unemployable between 30 and 50. Sincerely, however your face is aging naturally is just fine. Set it free, and we will love you for it.
Bronze: Workday, “Rock Star” (Ogilvy)
This might sound like further superficial bitchiness about an aging star, but it’s actually fine because the effect was clearly intentional: The Bronze Creepy goes to the two seconds of Ozzy Osbourne in smudged eyeliner and a short-sleeved button-down turning around in a swivel chair and saying, “Hi, I’m Oswald.” Excellent work. Rock star material.
(See what I did there?)
Silver: E*Trade, “Wedding” (MullenLowe)
To their credit, the E*Trade baby is far less creepy today than he was in his early appearances — obviously, CGI technology has improved vastly since 2008. But although the worst of the creepiness has left, what remains only moves us farther into the uncanny valley. (Also, of course it would be way worse for a talking baby to be marrying an actual adult, but two babies getting married at an event otherwise populated only by adults save for one other talking baby? Who is apparently “single and ready to mingle”? Creepy.)
Gold: Tubi, “Rabbit Holes” (Mischief @ No Fixed Address)
The Gold Creepy has to go to an ad that, while intentionally creepy (and you know I have a preference for organic Weepy/Creepyness), can’t go unrewarded: Dead-eyed costumed rabbits dragging unwilling victims by their feet and flinging them into an ominous hole full of random floating TV shows. There were some twisted minds behind that, and I salute them. Thanks for fueling my nightmares, Mischief. (Incidentally, I’m not the only one who found beauty in the creepy bunnies — they won a Super Clio as the Big Game’s best ad.)
Congratulations to our first-ever winners.
I salute every brand and agency that turned out the kind of ad that made my shoulder blades twitch — you know how sometimes you can actually feel creepiness up across your shoulders and collarbone? — and filled my head with images time will never erase. How about you? Did you get squicked out by any ads this year, or do you have a beloved creepy ad you hold in your heart despite wishing you didn’t? (Puppy Baby Monkey deserves a Lifetime Achievement Award as far as I’m concerned.) Drop it in comments. A squick shared is a squick halved.