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Five Lazy-Ass Advertising-Related Halloween Costumes
Advertising IRL

Five Lazy-Ass Advertising-Related Halloween Costumes

Advertising IRL
Screen shot from the Dr. Pepper “Fansville: X-Ray” ad. A young woman in a burgundy and white retro waitress uniform — a double-breasted shirtdress in burgundy with white belt and lapels, and a name tag reading “Natalie” — and “#23” in red face paint on her cheek, holding a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, stands in a doctor’s office next to her boyfriend, who’s wearing a gray t-shirt, red gingham apron, and backwards burgundy baseball cap and holding a pair of wraparound sunglasses. They both look distressed. She’s holding his right arm up by the wrist, showing off the Dr. Pepper can he’s holding and demonstrating that he can’t possibly use that hand for grilling because it’s his Dr. Pepper hand!!!
The objectively superior “Fansville” execution, to be sure. The costumes just don’t lend themselves to laziness. (“That’s his Dr. Pepper hand!”)

So as of this writing, it’s October 27. Friday. Halloween is on Tuesday, and if you haven’t picked out your costume by now, you’re cutting it close. I mean, you’re coming up on last-faintly-racist-protected-IP-knockoff-costume-on-the-rack-at-Walmart close. You’re running on fumes and rolling up to the Chevron at the first exit toward Sexy Hamburglartown.

But it’s not too late. You still have the weekend to come up with something to wear to the agency Halloween party, where the account execs are all phoning it in and the art directors have been working on their costumes since November 1 of last year. That’s enough time to whip up something decent, possibly even using stuff you have at home, definitely with stuff you could find at TJ Maxx or whatever on short notice. (It’s also enough time to order some stuff via Amazon Prime, if you haven’t burned through all your options from my previous Halloween costume post.)

Never say Caperton doesn’t have your back. Here are five super-lazy advertising-adjacent Halloween costumes, ranked in ascending order of slackassitude (along with tips for a couple’s version, if you have a costume buddy this year).

5. Fansville State fans

Gray cardigan, face paint, can of Dr. Pepper. Burgundy button-down or v-neck, depending on which  specific character you’re going for. And now you’re the easiest-to-replicate character(s) from the (unrelentingly awesome) Dr. Pepper “Fansville” ads.

Laziness level: 6/10. Those aren’t uncommon items of apparel, but if you don’t have them, obviously you’re going to have to make that TJ Maxx run, and then stop off for face paint at the Spirit Halloween in the abandoned Old Navy next door.

Screen shot from the Dr. Pepper “Fansville: First Words” ad. A couple stands silhouetted against a blue sky and a football stadium in the background. His dark hair is parted neatly on the side, and he’s wearing a gray zip cardigan, a burgundy button-down shirt, and a full face of paint, dividing his face diagonally into a white half and a red half, and he’s holding a can of Diet Dr. Pepper. She’s also wearing a gray zip cardigan, with a red gingham v-neck top, a face painted in red and white stripes and a red #1, and a can of Dr. Pepper. They’re both smiling, but her smile is about as stiff as you’d expect from a woman whose husband is about to find out their Tech-loving baby might not actually be his.

Couple upgrade: The, y’know, other version of the costume. (And if you happen to have a baby, for the love of all that’s holy, put ‘em in a blue onesie.)

4. The T-Mobile buds

These costumes definitely wouldn’t be recognizable enough on their own, but put them together, and people are probably going to pick up what you’re putting down. And luckily, you have a number of options: Gray sweats, green t-shirt, and blue bathrobe for one; jeans and a putty-colored thermal for the other. Khaki cargo pants and a teal hoodie for one; jeans, a gray Henley, and a navy-blue zip hoodie for the other. Jeans, a faded purple button-down, and a beige crew-neck t-shirt for one; khakis and a teal sweatshirt for the other. And bam, you’re beloved Scrubs stars now shilling together for T-Mobile. Grab a laptop to really drive it home, or just rely on your sunny demeanor and brolike camaraderie to get the point across.

Laziness level: 6.5/10. Again, these are items you’ll have to track down if you don’t already have them, but “tracking them down” can probably start and finish at your nearest Walmart.

Screen shot from the T-Mobile “Musical: $50” ad featuring Donald Faison and Zach Braff from “Scrubs.” The two are standing in a breezeway of a house clad in beige shingled siding, behind a profusion of white flowers. Donald, wearing a teal hoodie and khaki cargo pants, is looking at Zach, kind of pinched. Zach, wearing a gray Henley, a zip hoodie, and jeans, looks into the middle distance, apparently shocked. At what? I don’t remember. It’s been a while since I watched the ad.

Throuple upgrade: Black button-down, white t-shirt, black jeans shaved head, sparse five o’clock shadow that looks like it was drawn on with a mascara wand, and disconcertingly overprocessed face, and you’re John Travolta from the 2023 T-Mobile Super Bowl ad.

3. Mayhem

Dark gray suit and tie, white shirt, Band-Aids. Accessorize with your choice of props — dumbbells, flat iron and undereye patches, yellow Daisy gloves and feather duster, let whatever you already have on hand guide your choice. Because you’re being lazy. And now you’re also Allstate’s personification of mayhem.

Laziness level: 7/10. You really should own this most versatile of suiting options, so if you don’t already have it hanging in your closet, this is your opportunity to get one. And the Band-Aid and [insert whatever prop is available around the house here] are super easy.

Screen shot from the Allstate “Cleaning Lady” ad. Our favorite embodiment of mayhem is dressed like a maid. He’s in a dark gray three-piece suit and tie, with a Band-aid on his forehead, along with yellow rubber gloves and a gray feather duster. He’s standing in a light blue-painted living room with comfy blue chairs and a coffee table with coffee-table books in the background, and he’s in the process of dusting an expensive-looking white and blue vase that we can just tell is not long for this world.

Couple upgrade: Denim shirt and tortoiseshell hipster glasses make you Tina Fey from her ad cameo. (To go with the theme, pick up a red plaid collar at your closest pet supple/big box/grocery store for your canine-inspired Mayhem.)

2. The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

A gray bath towel (or you can go with white, but the towel in the original ad was actually gray), a tube of Old Spice, and a LOT of confidence.

Laziness level: 8/10. The costume pieces themselves are exceptionally easy to come by, but if you can resist the urge to drop and do a few dozen crunches before heading out in this unforgivingly exposed costume, you are a stronger person than I.

Screen shot from the Old Spice “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” ad. A handsome, well-tended man in a toned pair of pecs and not much else stands in a yellow-tiled bathroom with a running shower head and beige shower curtain in the background. He’s holding up a red bottle of Old Spice After Hours body wash, and absolutely no one is focused on the bottle.

Couple upgrade: Red boxer briefs, bare head, ‘nother tube of Old Spice, and you’re newer Old Spice Guy Terry Crews.

1. Smile

Creepy-ass smile.

That’s it. That’s the costume. Paramount’s guerrilla campaign for the movie Smile, just puttin’ people in the background of baseball games, unmoving, with that creepy-ass smile, was a work of genius, in my opinion. Hang to the back of your group of friends and smile like you just snuck out a fart and can’t wait for someone to notice, and people will get what you’re going for.

Laziness level: 10/10.

Couple upgrade: Sure, right, because someone’s going to want to be seen in public with you and your Demented Kindergarten Teacher face.

Happy Halloween, y’all.

If you have your own ideas for other lazy-ass advertising-related costumes, drop them in comments. If you have past lazy-ass costumes to brag about, please do so, because the one thing I love almost as much as a good Halloween costume is a bad one. And as ever, if you do go with any of the lazy costume ideas here, tag me on Instagram to let me know.

Particularly if you’re going as the Old Spice Guy(s).

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