A blog about advertising, copywriting, creativity &c.
INAPPROPRIATE: Y’all, car ads used to be WRONG.
Advertising IRL

INAPPROPRIATE: Y’all, car ads used to be WRONG.

Advertising IRL
Cropped image from a 1996 Daihatsu ad. The centerpiece of the image is a profile shot of said 1996 Daihatsu Hijet van with a man leaning out the passenger-side front window, grinning cheesily and giving an enthusiastic thumbs-up. The other seats in the car are full of people, but you can’t see them because most of the windows are covered by black censor bars.
Full ad available at Daihatsu’s OnlyFans.

Note: The following post is more-or-less SFW, I’m pretty sure, but do consider the sensitivity level of nearby colleagues and/or your HR department before reading further.)

It’s always been said that sex sells (wow, Caperton, bold of you to take such an original and controversial stance), and while we pretend to have gotten away from it, we try to be more creative than that, we try to be thoughtful and respectful, the fact remains that sex isn’t likely to stop selling any time soon.

Alternately, you could look back at the car ads of the past seven decades and conclude that, comparatively, we are living in an era of prudish, puritanical creative, because car ads of not just the ’60s and ‘70s but also the ‘80s, ‘90s, and freaking ‘00s are the horniest ads you’ve ever seen in your life. They look at bikini-clad car-show models and laugh. They watch ‘90s-era beer commercials and say, “Hold my beer.”

Want to see what I mean?

Timeless: The ones that basically just sell women’s body parts

We’re just going to group these all together here, because they’re not terribly clever or impressive, but they are horny: ads that are essentially for faceless women’s body parts, except with a CTA to buy something car-related. “Adjacent to butts” is the main selling point. Not even an implied promise of getting laid — just, like, “Here’s butts, and there’s also a car.” [1, 2]

A 1966 Fiat print ad. The black-and-white ad shows a slender woman in a white bikini with black polka dots, facing away from the camera and angled just enough that we can glimpse her butt and breasts. In the distance beyond her is a convertible Fiat 1500 with the top down, against a white background. The headline reads, “The second best shape Italy.” The body copy reads “at the hottest little price in the USA. You’ve seen the first, in films. Now see the Fiat, in person. Fiat is the hot one. The Italians did it the way they do most things. With style. With flair. With flourish. And there’s no Germanic thrill showing. This Fiat sport comes with all the extras at not a penny extra.” Then it lists all the conveniences and features, and then it says, “And speaking of figures, you can’t even come close to a shape like this at a price so trim an appealing. At $2,693, it’s the lowest-price sports car in its class. Every family should have at least one Fiat.”
A 1971 Firestone tire print ad. The ad shows a woman standing outside, on grass, against a blue sky. She’s facing away from us, hands on her hips, legs apart, wearing black knee boots, extremely short white shorts, and a sleeveless top with vertical red-black-and-white chevron stripes. Her blonde hair is loose behind her back. Her spread legs are the centerpiece of the ad — beyond her, in the distance, are a black convertible (with another woman standing next to it in a short skirt) and a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Positioned between her legs is a graphic of a Firestone tire, next to the Firestone logo. The headline reads, “Meet our newest performed — the mini sport tire from Firestone.” The ad copy talks about the tire without any connection to the faceless woman we’re ogling from behind.
A 2011 Fisker Karma ad. A seriously sexy Fisker Karma ad. The ad is promoting the Karma being an electric vehicle and shows a 3/4 rear profile of a shiny, gunmetal-gray Karma against a black background. The car’s charging door is open, and a thin blonde woman is moving toward it with a charging cable as if she’s about to plug it in. She’s posed wearing a black leather bikini, black slingback heels, and nothing else, and the image is framed such that you can almost see the bottom of her face a little, because clearly her face is not the focus of this ad, and neither is the car.

(In defense of the third one, it does almost show her face.)

c. 1954: Pontiac

Because the ‘50s were all poodle skirts and Leave It to Beaver. [2]

A 1954 Pontiac Star Chief print ad. The image is shot from the inside of a Star Chief, with white-trimmed red leather seats. A brunette woman in a red gown and white gloves is sitting in the back seat, just visible from the camera’s vantage point next to the front seat. A brunet man in a tuxedo is leaning in through the car window next to her. The headline reads, in white letters, “Spread your legs!” The copy reads, “Enjoy maximum leg-room in the new Pontiac Star Chief.”

1967: Porsche

I bet disembodied butts look pretty good when you put them next to “you will get sex if you drive this car.” [3]

A 1967 Porsche 911 print ad. The black-and-white ad shows a white Porsche 911 in profile against a white background. Above the car, the headline reads, “It’s a little too small to get laid in, but you get laid the minute you get out.” At the bottom of the add is the Porsche logo.

1974: Pirelli

It’s tires. [1]

A 1974 Pirelli print ad. The ad, in black and red tones, shows the right rear fender and tire of a car. A brunette woman in a black-and-red dress and black slingback heels is crouched next to it with a tire iron, looking at the camera. The headline reads, “Eyy, big boy. Take it off. Take it all off. And change into Pirelli!” The rest of the ad copy talks about the qualities and features of the tire, without any connection to the woman who’s apparently trying to seduce you into changing her tire for her.

1979: Austin Morris

Dick joke. [2]

A 1979 Mini print ad. The ad shows a red 1979 Mini against a black background. The headline, in white bubble letters, reads, “You don’t need a big one to be happy.”

c. 1989: Porsche again

Porsche is a frequent flyer in the area of naughty advertising, which is kind of ironic because their hornier ads are frequently distributed among some of the more clever, creative ads of the era. It’s like the creatives were all, “Clever, clever, clever… grr, clever… cleverHORNDOG, MUST HORNDOG, MUST MAKE ONE ABOUT BLOWJOBS, ahhhh. Clever.”

Tl;dr: Dick joke.

A 1989 Porsche 911 Carrera print ad. The black-and-white ad shows a black Porsche 911 Carrera in profile against a white background. Above the car, the headline reads, “Small penis? Have I got a car for you.” Below the car, the ad copy reads, “If you’re going to overcompensate, then by all means, overcompensate. Loaded ’89 911 Carrera 4. Call (312) 552-1676. Ask for Tiny.” Below that is the logo for Joe’s Porsche, next to the Porsche logo. Yes, this is an actual Porsche ad.

1996: Daihatsu

See, this one starts off all cute and even a little self-deprecating, and then you get into the body copy, and it’s talking about reclining seats and “getting hot” and “staying power” and now you’re thinking about getting picked up by a dude in a white van who’s already picked up five other women, and… [2]

A 1996 Daihatsu print ad. It shows a silver Daihatsu Hijet van in profile against a white background. A man is leaning out the passenger-side front window, grinning cheesily and giving an enthusiastic thumbs-up. The other seats in the car are full of smiling, laughing, beautiful blonde women. The headline, in bold, black letters, says, “Picks up five times more woman than a Lamborghini.” The ad copy reads, “Forget your Italian racers. This little babe-magnet is the Daihatsu Hijet MPV. Don’t laugh. It packs in six comfortable seats (four of them reclining). A five-speed gear box. Two sun roofs for when things get hot. And even a 3-year/60,000-mile warranty for guaranteed staying power. But what really makes the Hijet MPV so attractive? The £167,503 change from a Lamborghini, of course. Our price is just £8,497 on the road. For more information, call us on 0800 521 700. The Hijet MPV.”

2004: Skoda

This ad takes the disembodied woman parts to an entirely new level by not even placing them adjacent to a car part or anything. (Do I give the ad points for presenting a way of illustrating the feature (2 Zone AC) in a way I haven’t seen before, despite the fact that it’s one of the more egregious examples of disembodied woman parts? That’s none of your business.)

A 2004 print ad advertising the Skoda Octavia and its new air conditioning. Does the image show a car? Or anything remotely automotive? It does not. It shows boobs. Fairly large ones, close up, in a tight gray Henley top with all but one button unbuttoned to show cleavage. The woman’s right nipple is erect, and her left one isn’t. The ad copy, in white letters over the image, reads, “The new Skoda Octavia. Available with 2-zone air conditioning.” Get it? Because only one boob is cold. They’re so very, very clever. I hate my life. The Skoda logo is in the upper right corner.

2008: BMW

This one…

Oof.

A gif showing a close-up of gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi. In slow motion, he closes and scrunches his eyes, lowering his head, lips and gray mustache pursing in a long, “Oooof.” In white capital letters across the bottom of the image is the all-caps word, “Ooooooofff.”

You don’t have to go all the way back to the swingin’ ‘70s to get fully inappropriate with your car advertising. Like, implications-you-shouldn’t-be-making inappropriate. In the year of our Lord 2008, BMW ran and then quickly pulled this ad for their Premium Selection Used Cars (courtesy of BBDO Athens, if you’re curious) that basically… I mean, if I try to go into detail about all the reasons it’s bad, I’m going to wake up to Chris Hansen in my kitchen, so let’s just go with ew, no, gross. [2]

A 2008 BMW print ad. It’s… wrong. Without getting too uncomfortable: The ad shows a young blonde woman — seriously, she looks like a teenager — apparently without clothes on, lying back with her hair tumbling around her, touching her own face and gazing at the camera. The ad copy says, “You know you’re not the first. But do you really care?” In the lower right corner is the BMW logo next to “BMW Premium Selection Used Cars.” Now please put this imagery out of your mind.

Like… keep it in your pants, car advertisers.

Of course, horny car ads have been a thing since a caveman carved the first wheel and thought, “Chicks are so totally gonna go for this.” (And in his defense, that might have been enough to get Grogda back to his cave. I mean, come on, y’all, he had a wheel.) And we can be sure they’re not going anywhere. But I like to think we’ve gotten to the point, as an industry, that we can be clever and edgy without objectifying women and reaching so hard for raunchy that you end up with eye-roll-worthy crassness.

And if you are going to make horny car ads: Be actually creative, keep it PG-13, stay off Chris Hansen’s radar, and please don’t with the dick jokes. Once you have personal injury lawyers making “size matters” jokes on billboards, it’s safe to assume the shark has been jumped.

The most grateful of hat tips to:

[1] https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a15350932/advertising-the-1970s-these-car-ads-define-a-nation-desperately-trying-to-enjoy-itself/

[2] https://autowise.com/10-most-cringe-worthy-sexist-car-ads-ever-published/

[3] https://twitter.com/BestAdsTime

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