In a previous post, I highlighted the numerous car ads through the decades, including several Porsche ads, that have pushed the bounds of SFW-itude. Like, pushed them hard. Like, sometimes pushing them entirely over a cliff and watching them crash to the rocks below and explode. But I also noted that, at the very say time, they were putting out ads that were clever and attention-grabbing in a non-horny way. (Whether I also got a giggle out of the horny ones, because I am twelve, is none of your business.)
A recent read of an interview with ad veteran Bruce Bildsten, discussing his early days at Fallon McElligott Rice highlighted, in particular, the agency’s work on some of the beautifully simple and far less horny Porsche ads from the late ‘80s onward. And that made me realize I’ve been remiss in not giving proper credit for the brand’s awesome, non-horny ads. I like them. They’re clever, they’re straightforward, and they really embody Porsche’s uniquely cocky-yet-accessible, it’s-not-bragging-if-you-can-back-it-up brand spirit. Porsche has come out with some ads that have made me want to just step outside and walk around a little. So these are… some of those.
Porsche Print Ads I Like Because They’re Good
Nobody’s perfect.
1983 LeMans results
1st Porsche, 2nd Porsche, 3rd Porsche, 4th Porsche, 5th Porsche, 6th Porsche, 7th Porsche, 8th Porsche, 9th Sauber/BMW, 10th Porsche.
There’s no tougher endurance race than Le Mans. Over 3,000 punishing miles in 24 hours at speeds often in excess of 200 mph. Last year, Porsche took the first five places. This year, the first eight. Next year, who knows? There’s always room for improvement. Even at Porsche.
No clutch, but one heck of an accelerator.
An automatic in a 911? Consider that the revolutionary new Porsche Tiptronic transmission was developed from the technology found in our 962 race car. It allows both automatic and clutchless manual shifting for one heck of a leap forward in performance.
Look at it this way, it’s either an expensive sportscar or a very reasonable racecar.
The new generation Porsche 911 Turbo is not an automobile built to the standards of a mere street car, but to the impossibly high standards of a race car.
From its immensely-powerful 315-horsepower turbocharged Porsche boxer six engine, to its massive ABS-fortified four-piston disc brakes, it is not just the world’s ultimate sportscar. It is the ultimate Porsche.
The result? An automobile capable of accelerating from zero to sixty in a mere 4.25 seconds, and able to stop shorter than any production car in the world. Which is why a showroom stock version of the new 911 Turbo so handily defeated the world’s reigning supercars to win the inaugural IMSA Bridgestone Potenza Supercar Championship.
True, that extra ten percent that separates the truly exceptional in this world from the merely good doesn’t come easily. Or cheaply. But after one test drive, we’re confident you’ll agree, it’s worth every penny.
The Porsche 911 Turbo
It gets a little louder above 5,000 rpm so you can’t hear the passenger scream.
The Porsche 911 Turbo
Its 171 mph top speed may be irrelevant, but it certainly is inspiring, isn’t it?
Unless you own a test track you’ll never come close to seeing how fast the new 1993 Porsche 928 GTS really is. But isn’t it nice to know those 345 horses are there? Come in for a highly inspirational test drive.
It certainly doesn’t look like a compromise. And it is anything but a creation of a committee of marketing executives and corporate accountants.
No, the Porsche 911 was the result of one man’s vision: Dr. Ferdinand Porsche. Its boxer 6 engine mounted aft to improve handling, the 911 was designed to be lightweight and nimble, to rely on agility as much as brute force. Yet built to such rigorous standards, it could endure the extraordinary demands of racing.
The Porsche 911’s we build today — the Carrera 2, the Turbo, the all-wheel-drive Carrera 4, and the even purer RS America — haven’t wavered one bit from that original mission.
Yet, thanks to constant refinement and revolutionary engineering breakthroughs, the 911 is virtually an all-new car with dramatically more power, comfort, and safety. Indeed, acceleration, braking, handling, and raw feel are just short of an all-out racecar.
The Porsche 911 RS America begins at $54,900. Not a small sum for a sportscar, true. But remarkably reasonable for an uncompromising, hand-crafted icon of modern design. To see one at a dealer near you, call 1-800-252-4444.
Who knows? You may find its ride too firm or its acceleration too abrupt. But, remember, we never said it was for everybody.
About as far as you can get from being all things to all people.
It’s not a statement. It’s a hand gesture.
With an awe-inspiring 315-horsepower engine and a shape more akin to a rocket than an automobile, the Porsche 911 Turbo makes a very strong statement indeed. We now have this very rare automobile on hand.
If you insist on air conditioning, you can always hit the track and roll down the window at 160 mph.
The new RS is the purist’s Porsche. We’ve subtracted weight, but added serious suspension tuning, massive wheels, and special seats, to make it quicker, more nimble, and considerably more visceral. Quantities, like lap times, are very limited. The new Porsche RS America.
Kills bugs fast.
Up to 181 mph, to be exact (if you’ve got your own racetrack). Zero to sixty in just over four heartbeats. 400 horses. Liquid all-wheel drive. It’s the new Nine Eleven Turbo. Seriously bad news for the insect world. Call 1-800-PORSCHE and find out why. Porsche. There is no substitute.
An object in motion stays in motion, until it needs gas or a taco or something.
If Newton drove a 282 horsepower Carrera S with internally vented anti-lock brakes and big fat tires, physics would be a lot more interesting, don’t you think? Introducing the new 911 Carrera S. Call us at 1-800-Porsche or www.porsche.com and you’ll agree: Porsche. There is no substitute.
… That’s it. That’s the post.
I only featured ten here because more than ten would be a lot, but they’re far from the only ones I like. Check out the interview with Bruce Bildsten, AIROWS’ roundup of brilliant vintage Porsche ads, and Best Ads of All Time on X Twitter to see more that I could have easily included, given the space. Because they’re, like… good, and stuff, and far Safer For Work than those other ones, and I like them.
I mean, like, good job on the ads. For real. All PG-13 or below, and still clever and fun and compelling, still Ads I Wish I’d Made.
I like the one about not being all things to all people. It’s bold and self-assured.
And also the one with the taco.