Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Kid with ADHD.
Kid with ADHD —
Want to go ride bikes?
I’m allowed to make that joke, because I have what doctors refer to as “super-hella-mega-nuclear ADHD.” (If you make that joke, you’re just being a meanie.) Actually, though, I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until well into my adulthood, because life-affecting attention issues aren’t the sole purview of six-year-old soccer players named Nathan. People of all ages have ADHD, and even if you don’t, some life circumstances — like, for instance, the ones we’re all living in right now — can make it extremely difficult to stay in the right headspace.
Over the three-and-a-half decades that I thought I was just a complete mess, I amassed a mental gardening shed full of tools to keep myself on track even when my mind wants to wander. Here of a few of them, in case you find yourself struggling to focus and really need solutions to SQUIRREL.
The tangible stuff
1. Meds
I’m not say meds are right for everyone — just that they’re right for me, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no shame in doing whatever you and your doctor determine is necessary to manage your mental health, and there’s no virtue in not doing it. So when your neighbor starts getting onto you yet again about how meditation, journaling, and cutting out gluten would get you off of Ritalin, you can tell her to step six feet off. And then pretend you can’t hear her.
2. Decaf
Yeah, I know, right? But in a pinch, the placebo effect of decaf coffee can be a focus aid for me. “Sitting down with a cup of coffee and really getting to work” is a common approach to really getting to work, and once that first cup of high-test is down the hatch, decaf allows me to continue the ritual without getting all twitchy.
3. Todoist
Having run through a number of to do-list apps, I’m comfortable saying that Todoist is the objective best. The app works on my computer and my phone, and a corresponding Alexa skill means I can just say, “Alexa, add Write blog post about focusing on stuff to my to-do list” and she will, because chances are good I’ll have forgotten what I was trying to remind myself about before I get my phone unlocked. It can be organized by projects (or, in my case, clients), and it allows for color-coding, automation, and items-nested-in-items-nested-in-items, which you know tickles that “hyper-organization” part of my brain. Possibly the most important thing is that it understands natural language, so I just have to write Publish blog post by 10 a.m. next Monday morning, and it knows what I want it to do without me having to make any other effort. (Except to actually publish the blog post, which I may or may not have done by 10 a.m. Monday morning, because having a task list and actually performing the tasks are two different things.)
(I’m not receiving any compensation for talking this up, but Doist is certainly welcome to throw money my way.)
4. YouTube
I like to joke that my ADHD is like having a precocious, hyperactive six-year-old in my head constantly demanding my attention. (Her name is Madison.) “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy, look at that moth! Is that a regular moth or a pantry moth, Mommy? Mommy, did you know cows have four stomachs? Do you think if they had three, they’d make less methane? Mommy! Mommy, listen to this song I learned! SMOOOOOKE ON THE WAAAAATER…” And if I give her a doodle pad, or a game, or sit her in front of the TV, she shuts up. If my mind won’t stop wandering, I’ll put on a YouTube video — something I’ve seen before, or that I can listen to with half an ear — and let the background noise keep Madison occupied while I work. You’d think it would be more of a distraction rather than less, but for whatever reason, it works. The only time I can’t use it is when I’m actually writing — when I’m working to come up with my own words, I can’t have someone else’s words on in the background.
5. The Ultimate White Noise Generator
When background activity (including other people’s words) does become a distraction, a white-noise generator helps a lot. More specifically, a pink-noise generator — pink noise is a thing, and it’s particularly effective at drowning out people’s voices. The Ultimate White Noise Generator generates it, and that plus headphones or well-fitted earbuds gives me the perceived solitude I need.
6. Rocketbook
When it comes to actual, tangible products that help me focus, my Rocketbook Core (formerly Everlast) is a particularly helpful tool. The Rocketbook allows me to write whatever I need to write, then scan it with my phone, magically sending the scan wherever on the Internet I need it to go via the Rocketbook app, and then wipe it down with water to make it go away forever. Sometimes, writing things by hand is more effective for me than typing them, and this allows me to do that while remaining cloud-friendly, having paper immediately at hand when I need to get something out of my head, and only having one notebook to keep track of. It’s good. (Similarly, I’m receiving no compensation for talking up this product, but I can be bought.)
I’m told that from the outside, I look almost intimidatingly organized and competent. No one has to know that the inside of my head looks like a Where’s Waldo picture. Until now. Because I just told on myself.
The intangible stuff
1. Routine
Theoretically, the life of a freelancer should be one of sleeping late and working in your jammies. And I’m sure it works for many — just not for me. I need to establish as many habits as I can so I can save my precious brainpower for other purposes. So I do get up at the same time every morning (for the most part), work out, shower, dress, make coffee, get to work, stop work at a designated quittin’ time. Mascara and concealer, to tell myself, “I am going to work today.” A veritable wardrobe of leggings and tank tops that, while comfy, also serve as a “work uniform” distinct from whatever I just slept in. Blue coffee mugs that I only use on weekdays. An office that’s only for office things. Some of it might lean more into the realm of ritual than mere routine, but whatever, it works, and I don’t tell you how to live your life.
2. Pilates
I’ve tried yoga, and it’s just not my thing — I’m not into chakras, and meditation, for me, is mostly an exercise in coming to terms with frustration and failure. But for some reason, pilates does seem to help. I think it’s because actually performing the movements correctly demands enough attention from me that, for just that short period of time, my brain and my body are both focused on the same goal. My mind literally cannot wander, because I will injure myself. Afterward, it’s a lot easier to keep my brain pointed in the right direction.
3. Location (location, location)
My office is located in the back of the house, in a converted sunroom, with tons of natural light and a view of cardinals and squirrels in the back yard and usually at least one animal asleep in a sunbeam near my desk, except when they’re in the window hungrily eyeing the cardinals and squirrels in the back yard. (No, you can’t see a picture. It’s a mess right now.) I have an ergonomically correct chair and a huge-ass monitor for my laptop, and it’s perfect, and when I sit down at my desk, my brain clicks into place and gets on task. Except when it doesn’t. Just occasionally, when my brain still refuses to get it together, I’ll take my laptop to the living room and sit on the far-less-ergonomically correct couch, usually with a terrier trying to sit on my lap where there is already a laptop, thank you very much, and it’s close enough that sometimes I can overhear my boyfriend working in his office nearby, and I’ll suddenly, for some reason, be able to focus. No idea why. It just works.
(Location, incidentally, can also work as a memory aid. As a creative, I find myself doing a lot of concepting while showering or brushing my teeth, and if I later lose track of it, I can go back to that location and figure out what I was thinking about. I might look kind of silly standing in front of the sink, trying to remember that headline I came up with, but it gets the job done.)
4. Timing
Much like location, breaking the normal routine can help snap things back into focus when keeping the routine doesn’t work. In cases where I have the leeway to flex my daily schedule a bit, I’ll sometimes quit early for the day and start up again at, like, 9 p.m. Or, like, 11 p.m. There’s something about working when the whole world, including my boyfriend and dogs, is asleep that helps me focus on the project in front of me. In fact, the danger is that I might end up over-focusing, which is a lesser-known effect of ADHD. When I work at night, I’m accepting the possibility that I’ll lift my head at 3 a.m. and think, “Well, shit, tomorrow’s going to suck, and also, I really need to pee.”
5. An understanding with my boyfriend
Among all my focus tools, this one is completely essential. My boyfriend and I have both been working from the same home, our home, for going on four years now, and we have neither split up nor killed each other, and that’s because we have an understanding, and that’s that… we both have work to do. It’s simpler on his end, because his office has a door, so I just don’t bother him when it’s closed. If I need him, I’ll text him (yes, from the other side of the house), and he’ll let me know when he’s available. My office doesn’t have a door, so he just agrees that there are some things it’s better to avoid during the workday — the dishwasher probably doesn’t need emptying right this second, and if he wants to play video games in the living room, he needs to use headphones, and if he comes in to talk and I say, “Baby, it’s not a good time,” he leaves without getting offended. We’ll have plenty of time to talk after work.
6. An understanding with myself
And this is the one that is, above all others, completely essential: I can’t be hard on myself. I know I have a condition that makes it hard to focus, and I know I’m currently living in those extremely distracting, distressing circumstances. I’m pushing uphill right now, focus-wise. If, for a brief period to time, I I struggle to get my shit together, it isn’t a personal failing or a character defect — it’s a Thing That Happens. Beating myself up about it accomplishes nothing. I do what I can, and then I move on.
And that’s it — I’ve put enough brainpower into this list, and it’s time to apply my precious focus to other, more lucrative activities. Drop your own focus tips, or focus struggles, in comments. Oh, and before I buckle down, I do need to ask:
Want to go ride bikes?