I love a good cheeseburger. And not in a “I’m not like other girls, I like junk food” kind of way — more in a “if you haven’t had a Fat Elvis from the Vortex in Atlanta, you haven’t lived” kind of way. And a “the best burger in Birmingham came from 26, RIP” kind of way. The best burger of my life? Came from a Wendy’s in the Atlanta airport at one in the morning after a nine-hour flight from London and just missing the shuttle back home by five minutes, and God, that sizzling square patty was the most beautiful thing I’d seen all day. So I’m not claiming to be a burger gourmet — merely a big burger fan.
And then Burger King was, like, “Hey, want to know some stuff about our burgers? I bet you don’t!”
Seriously, though, I commend these fast-food restaurants for coming up with attention-grabbing ideas. Shoving through the fray to get consumer attention is a real battle, and if that means stepping away from “look at how appetizing our food is!” positioning from time to time, sometimes a gross-out ad is in order. I mean, maybe not for me, because I think I just discovered a weaker stomach than I’d known I had. But for most people. Clearly, I’m sold on a burger either way.
Burger King Moldy Burgers
I will give Burger King one thing: The new Whopper ad is super evocative. If you’ve ever seen any of the videos where armchair scientists have left out fast food items to see how long they take to decompose, you understand how a month-old burger, still looking fresh and in its prime, can be, in and of itself, disconcerting. So in that respect, a greenish, grayish, fuzzy Whopper does actually manage to convey an image of freshness.
In all other respects, though, a greenish, grayish, fuzzy Whopper conveys an image of greenish-gray fuzz on a Whopper, like the Demogorgon’s last snack before it dragged Barb into the Upside-Down. (RIP Barb.) So as a way of announcing that Burger King is removing artificial preservatives from their food, the new ad campaign is pretty effective. As a way of saying, “We’re removing artificial preservatives, now don’t you want to eat one up, open wide, here comes the airplane,” it… might could use some work.
McDonald’s Burger Candles
I don’t hate an offbeat candle scent. I’ve found myself enjoying some unusual ones. Tobacco? Actually pretty okay. Leather? Sure. So while I haven’t personally experienced McDonald’s flight of Quarter Pounder-themed candles, I’m open to the thought that a beef-scented candle might even work. A ketchup-scented candle has potential, and the sesame-seed bun-scented candle sounds downright tasty. (Pickle? Cheese? I’ll hear arguments.)
But take a moment to imagine with me: You work in advertising. Your parents get you a gift that’s ad-related, see, because you’re in advertising, and the next time they come to visit, they want to see you enjoying it, and now you’re sitting in your living room, pouring coffee as an onion-scented candle suffuses your home with the aroma of a stale fast-food grease vat. So parents (significant others, etc.), if you want to give a cute brand-adjacent gift, allow me to suggest the “Quarter Pounder with Love” locket.
Also concerned that the beef candle is actually called “100% Fresh Beef**.” Whether in burger form or candle form, those asterisks scare me.
KFC Finger-Licking Ad
KFC has always promised that its chicken is “finger-lickin’ good,” and fast-food fans in the UK get to see exactly how finger-lickin’ that is courtesy of Mother London’s new ad campaign. The ads show people… lickin’ their fingers, mid-KFC feast, set to Chopin’s Nocturne in E-flat major, Op. 9, No. 2.
It’s oddly lvely. It’s shot beautifully, the choice of music is great, the editing is sublime. People eating chicken and licking their fingers (and each others’ fingers) almost turns into a dance. And if you’re not me, thinking about how not a single one of those people is going to wash their hands afterward, and that one guy is definitely going to leave his newspaper for someone else to pick up, it drives home the fact that KFC chicken is so good, you don’t want to stop tasting it.
If you are me, you were probably going to get a Famous Bowl anyway, and nobody’s ever made a Spork-Lickin’ Good campaign. Maybe next time.