I will beatbox your story.

When I graduated from ad school [hrumph]teen years ago, I expected to immediately start writing Super Bowl ads for high-powered, big-city agencies, and I did not expect to be establishing a brand voice for ginger ale or beatboxing on an award-winning interactive Christmas card. And I have to tell you, that is so much cooler.

(This is not true. I will totally write your Super Bowl ad. Or tell your story in any other way it needs to be told. Read on to see how I've done that for other satisfied clients.)