{"id":823,"date":"2020-08-03T12:18:18","date_gmt":"2020-08-03T17:18:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/?p=823"},"modified":"2020-08-03T12:18:18","modified_gmt":"2020-08-03T17:18:18","slug":"5-pharmaceutical-ad-tropes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/5-pharmaceutical-ad-tropes\/","title":{"rendered":"5 pharmaceutical ad tropes that look pretty good right about now"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
No one is enjoying that Allegra-facilitated car ride than that adorably fluffy dog. <\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

It’s funny consuming media these days. I know I’m not the only person who does it \u2014 watches a show or sees a commercial with four un-masked people meeting up at a crowded coffee shop and thinks “What are you doing?” <\/em>(Thinks it, yells it at the TV, whatever.) But once you get over their sheer audacity, don’t you feel just a little bit jealous? Just a little. \u2026 Um, no, totally, me either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The all-time leader in this, of course, is drug commercials. During better times, we laughed at those ads and called them cheesy (on account of they were cheesy), but now, six months into a pandemic, a garden party with burgers and croquet sounds kind of nice. No one is living a better life than a person who just popped an Allegra and is now frolicking in a field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some of the drug-induced best lives that sound pretty good right now. I can\u2019t have what they have, and not just because I don\u2019t have a prescription for Allegra. But a girl can dream, and right now, here are a few things I\u2019m dreaming about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lunch with friends (Rexulti)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll admit, I tend to be a homebody, but I never say no to a nice lunch with a few friends. A lovely restaurant with plenty of natural light and apparently jaw-dropping salads is a definite plus. Unfortunately, even the most charmingly lit of eateries poses a risk right now, so I\u2019ll just have to sigh as I watch our friend here overcome her depression and really, really enjoy that salad<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019ll be risking:<\/em> <\/strong>Luckily, I\u2019m nor elderly or under 25, in which case\u2026 yeesh; otherwise, stiff muscles, or confusion, which may signal a life-threatening condition, or potentially permanent uncontrollable muscle movements; also, increased cholesterol, weight gain, high blood sugar, decreased white blood cells, compulsive behaviors, dizziness, seizures, and\/or trouble swallowing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sporting events (Symbicort)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Baseball is a good one \u2014 I\u2019m close enough to see the Friday fireworks at Regions Field — but what I\u2019m really going to miss this fall is college football. (Theoretically, assorted conferences are going to try to make it happen, but let\u2019s be realistic here.) No Blazers, no Tide, no road trips up to Athens for a Georgia game \u2014 this is a dark time indeed. Except for this dude, whose COPD will not stop him from helping his kid catch a fly ball at a Sharks game<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019ll be risking: <\/em>Increased risk of lung infections, osteoporosis, and some eye problems; unspecified complications if I have a heart condition or high blood pressure<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Movie dates (Mucinex)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

A light dinner followed by a Marvel movie on the big screen with those super-comfy reclining, heated theater seats was a tradition for The Boy and me during The Time Before. (The fact that our local movie theater also has a fully stocked bar with movie-themed drinks doesn\u2019t hurt.) Alas, we\u2019re not going to be doing that for a while \u2014 even the big comfy seats don\u2019t provide six feet of elbow room \u2014 so I\u2019ll just have to live vicariously through th<\/a>e<\/a> couple here enjoying their movie night without the interruption of wet and\/or dry coughs<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019ll be risking:<\/em> The ad doesn\u2019t say, so we\u2019ll just have to assume I\u2019m taking my life in my hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Amusement parks (Zyrtec)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I love an amusement park. The amount of time I\u2019m willing to spend in line for a second go on a really good ride would be intolerable for a lot of people (which is why I always spring for the FastPass). Amusement parks, however, are completely out of the question at the moment, and screaming inside my heart<\/a> doesn\u2019t sound like a lot of fun, so I\u2019ll stick with being jealous of Dad here having a great day of roller-coastering without having to worry about allergies<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019ll be risking:<\/em> Another (OTC) drug ad that doesn\u2019t list side effects. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, ZYRTEC?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Horseback riding (Humira)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t an activity rendered verboten by the pandemic. I just haven\u2019t been horseback riding in forever, and I used to love it, and I saw this ad and thought, \u201cMan, I\u2019d love to go horseback riding again.\u201d Maybe I will. Maybe if I take Humira, I\u2019ll get to do it, like this woman who can go riding without worrying about her rheumatoid arthritis<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I\u2019ll be risking: <\/em>Lowered ability to fight infections; cancers, tuberculosis, lymphoma; blood, liver, and nervous system problems; serious allergic reactions; and\/or new or worsening heart failure<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someday\u2026<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There will come a day (I\u2019m pretty sure) when non-Zoom brunch will once again be a thing, with or without Rexulti. Until that day\u2026 I mean, kind of screw you, drug companies. Let\u2019s see an ad with a dude walking his dog and sneezing into his face covering (which, you have to admit, is a pretty good incentive to ask your doctor about Allegra), and then<\/em> I\u2019ll believe you aren\u2019t doing this stuff intentionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, and everyone else: Wear a mask, maintain six feet, wash your hands, and stay home when possible. It saves lives, and also, your girl here wants to do karaoke again<\/a>, and she doesn\u2019t want to have to pop an Enbrel to do it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s funny consuming media these days. 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