{"id":425,"date":"2020-02-03T10:27:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-03T16:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/?p=425"},"modified":"2020-02-03T10:27:00","modified_gmt":"2020-02-03T16:27:00","slug":"the-five-best-ads-never-to-run-during-the-super-bowl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/the-five-best-ads-never-to-run-during-the-super-bowl\/","title":{"rendered":"The five best ads never to run during the Super Bowl"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Suck it. (Credit: Newcastle)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019d tried to run an ad during this year\u2019s Super Bowl (I can say that, right? I can say \u201cSuper Bowl\u201d?) you would have paid around $5.6 million for 30 seconds of airtime. (You also probably would have previewed the ad online anyway, which kind of makes me wonder what the point is? I mean, I know there\u2019s a point, and I pretty much know what it is, but I also still kind of wonder what the point is.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Like, \u201cHey, remember how fun it always is to watch the Super Bowl and see what huge, high-concept, big-budget ads all the brands are running? What if we took part of that fun away?\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, there are the ads that run during the Super Bowl, and the ones that run before and during the Super Bowl, and then there are ads that don\u2019t make it to the Big Game at all. Maybe it\u2019s a budget issue. Maybe it\u2019s a content issue. But that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s a quality issue, and we\u2019re going to highlight the best of them right here, right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Note: A lot of ads that never made it were rejected by the network for sexual content, and you know what? Whatever. Bo-ring. Anyone can have some hot chicks in bikinis, carrying around melons as a cheap boob metaphor and\/or replacing a man\u2019s caracturistically harridanish wife with someone young and sexy and, one assumes, sexually obedient. It takes real creativity to get banned for creativity \u2014 or to make an ad that gets as much buzz as the rest without having to pay for primetime.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s to five ads that didn\u2019t actually make it into the Su \u2014 shit, the Big Game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pornhub<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut Caperton!\u201d you\u2019re saying. \u201cYou just said you aren\u2019t showing any ads with sex in them!\u201d Hush up, I know what I\u2019m doing. This ad for a streaming porn site<\/a> is almost disconcertingly wholesome, but was rejected anyway by the network in 2013 for being\u2026 an ad for a streaming porn site. Two people in separate bathtubs selling boner pills? Acceptable. Put them on the same bench? WHOA, NOW.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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