{"id":3678,"date":"2025-08-21T15:22:25","date_gmt":"2025-08-21T20:22:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/?p=3678"},"modified":"2025-08-21T15:22:25","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T20:22:25","slug":"would-wouldnts-and-have-havents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/would-wouldnts-and-have-havents\/","title":{"rendered":"Would\/Wouldn\u2019ts and Have\/Haven\u2019ts, or, What My Feelings About Diegetic Music Taught Me About ChatGPT"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"A
“You wouldn’t want to hurt me, would you?”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

So, I get uncomfortable watching actors, as their character, sing onscreen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it\u2019s like the whole musical theater thing of, \u201cWhen you\u2019re too emotional to talk, you sing, and when you\u2019re too emotional to sing, you dance.\u201d* Level 2 emotion is a LOT. While there are actors who are exceptional at Level 1, Level 2 is a different story. So when they\u2019re sitting there, strumming an acoustic guitar, Level 2ing their character\u2019s feelings to a smoky bar, it feels fake to me \u2014 it\u2019s obvious they\u2019re trying to make us believe they feel that way when they actually don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LLMs \u2014 as much as ChatGPT Spotting has become a hobby \u2014 have gotten exceptional at Level 1ing. There\u2019s AI-generated content that gets Human Talk right on. But Level 2 is deeply personal. It\u2019s so emotional you can\u2019t even speak. That\u2019s hard for an actor to fake, and they\u2019re actual people who have emotions and vulnerabilities. An LLM can only pretend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This all came to mind with the recent pandemonium when OpenAI upgraded ChatGPT-4 to -5 and users melted down, because their friend\/therapist\/lover had suddenly gone cold<\/a>. Because they\u2019d been investing emotion and vulnerability into an algorithm that\u2019s pretty good at pretending.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So yeah, there are things AI is good for, and things it so supremely isn\u2019t. I, myself, use it for some things and absolutely not for others. So here are a few things I\u2019ve used it for just in the past week, and things I wouldn\u2019t \u2014 and you shouldn\u2019t \u2014 do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TWO CRUCIAL CAVEATS<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Before we dig in:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. The environmental impact of AI use is RIDICULOUS. Just the consumption of energy and water per prompt is out of scale. Every time you prompt ChatGPT, imagine you\u2019re personally strangling a bird. And not an ugly bird, either \u2014 one of these<\/a>. Imagine you\u2019re strangling a tufted titmouse.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe you don\u2019t need to thank your LLM, is my point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Before you upload any delicate information to your LLM, anonymize the fuuuuuck out of it. COMPLETELY. That AI is 99.999% for certain using your data for future training, so if your client wouldn\u2019t be cool saying, \u201cYeah, you can donate that data to OpenAI,\u201d anonymize the hell out of it. Be twice as paranoid as you think you should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With all that in mind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ChatGPT Woulds, Wouldn\u2019ts, Haves, and Havens<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Would and have: \u201cProofread this.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Please proofread this copy and provide a bulleted list of typos and such at the end.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Again, with \u201cthis copy\u201d anonymized to hell and back.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Any writer will tell you that if you work your copy enough, your eyes will start reading whatever you meant to write and not what you put on the page. If you don\u2019t have another pair of human eyes to read it over, ChatGPT does a great job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haven\u2019t and wouldn\u2019t: \u201cSo, I [VERY PERSONAL THING]\u2026\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been having problems with [VERY PERSONAL THING]. What should I do about it?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I would call my therapist. Because ChatGPT has received neither a Ph.D. nor an M.D., even an honorary one, and any advice it might give would be cobbled together from the combined wisdom of the whole entire internet, which knows nothing about my psychological history and also, to my knowledge, has received neither a Ph.D. nor an M.D. Even an honorary one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would and have: \u201cCompare this copy.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n
\n
\"A
“Look at these pretty flowers. No one would ever do anything to me next to these flowers.”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

(Yet again, and I will not stop saying this, anonymized.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wrote this product copy. I also have this existing copy for a similar product from the same brand. Obviously, many of the product details are going to be the same, and the brand info is going to be the same, but I need you to tell me if overall, it\u2019s so similar that consumers might notice and be put off by it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re similar, but are they the right amount <\/em>of similar?\u201d is tough for my human judgement, but ChatGPT\u2019s analysis can handle it. In this case, it came back with, \u201cYou\u2019re good in general, except for this one line. Would you like suggestions?\u201d And I was like, yeah, give me ten suggestions, and it did, and they were all bad, but they did inspire me to write a line that wasn\u2019t bad, so it helped anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haven\u2019t and wouldn\u2019t: \u201cDid you hear about this thing in the news?\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Did you hear that a troop carrier hit a car in D.C.? That is wild and not in any way surprising.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No, I hit up The Boy on Discord, because ChatGPT did not \u201chear\u201d anything, on account of it\u2019s a robot, and can\u2019t participate meaningfully on the other end of that conversation, because robot, and pretending would feel weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would and have: \u201cGive me a list of blog topics.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Please look at the posts on [A BLOG] and provide a list of 30 topics that would go along with the rest of the content there, focusing on the area of [AN AREA].<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why 30? Because 25 of them aren\u2019t going to be any good. But five of them will be, and I can massage them into usable content. Sometimes the topic well runs dry. An AI-generated boost is fine, as long as<\/em> you go behind it and make adjustments to make things authentic to the brand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haven\u2019t and wouldn\u2019t: \u201cWrite me a blog post.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Please write me a 500-700 word blog post on [A TOPIC]. It needs to satisfy [PARAMETERS] and match the tone of [A BLOG]. I\u2019ll provide some bullet points and brand information you need to include.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I haven\u2019t never<\/em>, but never to get something turnkey. It\u2019s always been copy ranging from okay<\/em> to meh<\/em>, copy that didn\u2019t meet specs, overall brand-generic tone, several links to articles that didn\u2019t say what ChatGPT just said they said, and I\u2019m sorry, yeah, twelve tons of em dashes. And it just sounded\u2026 robotic. Or maybe like a human person who got the same prompt but had never worked with the brand before. It was, for the most part, workable. Just not\u2026 good<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(And yes, if I\u2019d dedicated some time to massaging my prompt and\/or re-prompting to get it where it needed to be, I\u2019m sure I could have gotten good stuff, but in that time, I also could have written the post myself.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would and have: \u201cWhat\u2019s another word for\u2026?\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

What’s a single word that implies a mass freakout? Like, a large number of people emotionally collapsing en masse over something not worth collapsing over?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I live with a Tolstoy\u2019s worth of words on the tip of my tongue, and it is AWFUL, and having ChatGPT to be my \u201clike this word, but different\u201d buddy is life-changing. (Guess which word we came up with.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haven\u2019t and wouldn\u2019t: \u201cNo one else understands me.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n
\n
\"A
“What’s that? I was busy finding this seed and sitting here all chubby and adorable.”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

No one gets me like you do. I can talk with you for hours, and you always know the right thing to say. I can [NSFW]. I feel like my spouse just doesn\u2019t understand me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2026 I just\u2026 Buttercup. ChatGPT doesn\u2019t \u201cunderstand\u201d you beyond its programming to produce really on-the-nose language in response to your prompts. Would you be uncomfortable if you got to the third date and found out your dream date had been stalking you for months and carefully crafting every word and action based on the personal information they\u2019d amassed? ChatGPT the Considerate Lover is a whole field of red flags.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

tl;dr: Digital work partner yes, digital life partner hoooo lordy no<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been so dedicated to reminding the world ChatGPT isn\u2019t a search engine<\/a> that I haven\u2019t thought to remind them it also isn\u2019t a therapist, bestie, or lover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or personal analogue. Just for poops and grins, I did strangle a titmouse to have ChatGPT write a version of this blog post, and\u2026 it was actually pretty good. It even included an anecdote about a typo it had caught for me in the past, which felt kind of creepy but cool. And it did a pretty good job of matching my tone, and my tendency for self-deprecation (which, if you think about, is in the case ChatGPT<\/em> deprecating me<\/em>, so maybe I should be insulted?).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it still wasn\u2019t me<\/em>. It was like another writer \u2014 human or robot \u2014 trying to write like me, and doing a pretty<\/em> good job, but being just enough<\/em> off that it called even more attention to the offness. Because an LLM is never going to really<\/em> nail Level 2. When we need the really good stuff \u2014 when we need it strumming its guitar softly as it Level 2s out over the ocean \u2014 it\u2019s still going to be just enough<\/em> off. That human element will still need a human person \u2014 the kind that feels emotion, and empathy, and vulnerability, and doesn\u2019t disappear in an instant with one poorly considered upgrade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*I don\u2019t know what happens when you\u2019re too emotional to dance. I assume there\u2019s alcohol involved.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, I get uncomfortable watching actors, as their character, sing onscreen. 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