{"id":1732,"date":"2023-01-27T14:39:29","date_gmt":"2023-01-27T20:39:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/?p=1732"},"modified":"2024-11-20T11:12:48","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T17:12:48","slug":"the-mascots-have-retired-long-live-the-mascot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/the-mascots-have-retired-long-live-the-mascot\/","title":{"rendered":"The mascots have retired, long live the mascot"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>(\u201cRetirement,\u201d \u201cindefinite pause,\u201d whatever.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter wp-block-embed-twitter\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">A message from M&amp;M&#39;S. <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/EMucEBTd9o\">pic.twitter.com\/EMucEBTd9o<\/a><\/p>&mdash; M&amp;M\u2019S (@mmschocolate) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/mmschocolate\/status\/1617518785686274052?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">January 23, 2023<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Changing up mascots is just something brands do from time to time, for a wide variety of valid reasons \u2014 it\u2019s become more outdated than it is classic, people don\u2019t really relate to it like they used to, it\u2019s racist. But \u201cwe\u2019re shelving our mascots because of public reaction to an ANTHROPOMORPHIC CANDY\u2019S NEW SHOES\u201d brings with it a cavalcade of WHAT EVEN.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I\u2019m not saying Mars is necessarily in the wrong for making a move here \u2014 they gotta do what they gotta do in response to the market. It\u2019s the fact that people have been and remain so exercised about quote-unquote &#8220;woke candy&#8221; that they\u2019ve taken up their pitchforks to CHASE SOME CANDIES OFF THE INTERNET.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What, if I may ask, even<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"640\" src=\"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/green-mnm.jpg\" alt=\"The Green M&amp;Ms mascot lounges seductively, one eyebrow raised suggestively, blowing a kiss at the viewer because a sexy, sex anthropomorphic candy makes SO much sense.\" class=\"wp-image-2842\" style=\"width:300px;height:240px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/green-mnm.jpg 800w, https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/green-mnm-300x240.jpg 300w, https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/green-mnm-768x614.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"><em>\u201cHey there, big boy, what do you say we go somewhere quiet and interrogate your misdirection of natural sexual urges onto a cartoon piece of candy?\u201d<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/2022\/01\/27\/4367-more-characters-on-the-mms-thing\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Back when I first addressed this subject<\/a>, the conclusion I came to was\u2026 sure, why not. It\u2019s kind of odd that Orange finally tying his shoes is somehow supposed to be an essential step toward a more progressive world, but no one\u2019s being harmed by it. Nobody\u2019s being harmed by Green switching from go-go boots to sneakers except for no, God help us, her Stan Smiths are actually a THREAT TO HUMANITY, they make an <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.themarysue.com\/tucker-carlson-horny-mm\/\" target=\"_blank\">ANTHROPOMORPHIC CANDY NO LONGER SEXUALLY APPEALING<\/a>, and that is a CANCELLATION-LEVEL OFFENSE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the root of it all, of course, is Mars\u2019s <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cbsnews.com\/news\/m-ms-characters-redesigned-modern-inclusive-progressive\/\" target=\"_blank\">initial decision to keep up with a \u201cmore dynamic, progressive world\u201d<\/a> \u2018round about a year ago*. The greatest part of the change actually appeared essentially in the background \u2014 the M&amp;Ms website had cute little profiles, and their initial rollout highlighted changes like Green&#8217;s and Brown&#8217;s more supportive friendship, and Red becoming less abrasive, and Orange\u2019s shoe-tying reflecting his relatable anxiety, and if you\u2019re digging for a \u201cwoke agenda\u201d to bunch your panties, I <em>suppose<\/em> that would do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From a visual perspective, though? If Mars hadn\u2019t orchestrated such an attention-grabbing rollout*, Orange\u2019s tied shoes and Green&#8217;s laid-back sneaks that just <em>don\u2019t get you goin\u2019<\/em> would almost certainly escape notice. And anyone who picked up a bag of holiday-edition mint M&amp;Ms and noticed those unsexy shoes and raised a fuss about it would be dismissed as a <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.themarysue.com\/tucker-carlson-horny-mm\/\" target=\"_blank\">weirdo who was paying way too much attention to an anthropomorphic candy\u2019s shoes<\/a>, and seriously, it&#8217;s not that I&#8217;m emotionally invested in those wokeified candies but that things that are DEEPLY STUPID like INTERNET-BREAKING CANDY SEXINESS get me A LITTLE BIT HET UP, COME ON.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Phew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">On Maya Rudolph<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to the impending replacement mascot\u2026 I\u2019ll take it. If they\u2019re gonna bother going to the effort of the mascot-shelving-and-introducing process, Maya Rudolph is the perfect place to land. She was brilliant on SNL. Her Kamala Harris impression is flawless. Her turn as the Judge on \u201cThe Good Place\u201d was epic \u2014 perfect, stunning, no notes. I have no idea what she&#8217;ll be doing as the new M&amp;Ms spokesperson, but I&#8217;ll go ahead and say no complaints here \u2014 we\u2019re good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Now, of course, we can\u2019t not mention that a cynical person might see this whole hue and cry as a manufactured ploy to draw attention to the brand in anticipation of the Super Bowl debut of said sparkling new mascot. <em>However<\/em>, no one would ever accuse <em>me <\/em>of cynicism, so I can only continue to rail against the anti-wokeism that has driven a team of perfectly good mascots to the back of the pantry. Shame on you, M&amp;M alarmists. Shame. On. You.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(\u201cRetirement,\u201d \u201cindefinite pause,\u201d whatever.) Changing up mascots is just something brands do from time to time, for a wide variety of valid reasons \u2014 it\u2019s become more outdated than it &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2842,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,6],"tags":[14,63,65],"class_list":["post-1732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advertising-irl","category-the-biz","tag-branding","tag-social-media-marketing","tag-superb-owl"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The mascots have retired, long live the mascot - Caperton Gillett | The Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/the-mascots-have-retired-long-live-the-mascot\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The mascots have retired, long live the mascot - Caperton Gillett | The Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(\u201cRetirement,\u201d \u201cindefinite pause,\u201d whatever.) 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