{"id":1704,"date":"2023-01-13T14:21:30","date_gmt":"2023-01-13T20:21:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/?p=1704"},"modified":"2024-11-20T11:14:45","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T17:14:45","slug":"how-to-ask-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/capertongillett.com\/blog\/how-to-ask-for-help\/","title":{"rendered":"How to ask for help"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"A
“Nope, I’m good! Don’t worry! I got this!”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Anyone who\u2019s never been reluctant \u2014 scared, even \u2014 to ask for help when you need it can just cruise on past this post. For anyone who\u2019s not <\/em>a filthy liar, though, I\u2019m here to help you out. Even if you didn\u2019t come out and ask me to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(And of course I don\u2019t mean literally how to ask for help<\/em> \u2014 the mechanics of that are pretty straightforward. It\u2019s the part where you convince yourself, arm yourself, get up the courage to do the asking for the help that\u2019s a real challenge.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because asking for help can be a scary thing to do, particularly early in your career. It\u2019s making yourself vulnerable. It\u2019s saying, \u201cHey, you asked me to do this thing, and I find myself unable to do it under my own power,\u201d whether it\u2019s a matter of timing or skillset or clarity of instructions. When you want to appear competent and capable, asking for help feels like an admission that you actually aren\u2019t competent and capable, so you\u2019d rather struggle through the process and hope to be able to present something competent and capable at the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Except you don\u2019t. You end up presenting something that doesn\u2019t appear competent or<\/em> capable, because you were working without professional capabilities that were necessary to do a good job. You presented work that was shoddy, because you had to rush through it. You presented something that didn\u2019t get the job done, because you didn\u2019t understand the instructions to be able to follow them. You missed your deadline, because you were overwhelmed or overburdened and never managed to catch up. In your attempt to look like you were up for the job, you provided evidence that you\u2019re not up for the job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Okay, Khaled, that was a little harsh. But, I mean, it’s not entirely inaccurate. And if you have that mindset \u2014 if you\u2019re afraid to ask for help because you\u2019re afraid of looking bad in front of someone \u2014 I have nothing but sympathy, because I\u2019ve definitely been there myself, back before I became the aggressively-to-a-fault confident creative that I am today. I care, and I\u2019m here to, y’know, help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asking for help is a show of maturity and commitment to professional development.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s time for a mindset shift. Because asking for help isn\u2019t a sign of failure \u2014 it\u2019s a sign that you want to be better. You want to expand your skillset. You want to provide high-quality work that gets the job done. You want to be able to give the work all the time and attention it warrants, and to hand it in when it’s needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wanting to be a better creative and to provide great work on time is the sign of a mature, professional, capable team member.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And anyone who\u2019s going to think less of you for wanting those things is a dick, and shouldn\u2019t be in a supervisory position, and I’m just gonna say it: Either they need to go or you do. (Easier said than done, obviously, particularly when you\u2019re new to the industry and don\u2019t yet have a lot of options or professional currency, but at least you can recognize that that\u2019s the situation, to help you make decisions when you\u2019re in a position to do so.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a manager and being a team member both require you to want to help, to care about what your colleagues need and want and where they want to be. Your part in that means getting to a place where you can open up and ask for the resources you need to give them those things. Want to be better? Want to be more professional? Want to be more helpful? Asking for help is your way to do that \u2014 it\u2019s an asset, not a detriment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And here\u2019s a note to people in supervisory positions.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

First off: If you already have that positive mindset about asking for help, congratulations! That\u2019s one sign of a good leader, and I\u2019m sure your direct reports appreciate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alternately: Don\u2019t be that dick I was talking about above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a person comes to you for help, with concerns, with overburdening, and you take that as a sign that they aren\u2019t capable of doing the job they\u2019ve been assigned, you are being that dick<\/em>. And it\u2019s time to fix your<\/em> mindset.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A creative who comes to you for help is demonstrating maturity and professionalism. And they\u2019re demonstrating trust in you, because even if they have that positive mindset, there\u2019s still vulnerability there. Congratulations, you\u2019ve got a good creative, and if you can dig up some humility and take some inspiration from them, you can learn to be a better manager. It\u2019s an area where you can become better. If you\u2019re not sure how to do that, ask your own supervisor for help, and if you\u2019re not sure how to do that<\/em>, I\u2019ve got some good news for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HALP.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Learning to ask for help is just another skill to add to your toolkit as a professional. And unlike skills like Illustrator or PHP or sorting out affect<\/em> and effect<\/em> (which apparently is harder than you\u2019d think), this is one you can work on entirely in your brain. A little mindfulness, a little self-talk, maybe a hair tie on your wrist to snap whenever you find yourself trapped in your old mindset, and bam, you\u2019ve gotten to a mental space where you can ask for help in getting the rest of the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(HAHAHA obviously nothing is actually that simple. But it\u2019s not impossible. It just takes work.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And here\u2019s one last thing to think about on your journey to becoming a help-asker-for: How do you react when someone else asks you<\/em> for help? Do you think, \u201cWow, what an utter incompetent dope,\u201d or do you think, \u201cHow cool, an opportunity to make someone\u2019s life better\u201d? Extend to yourself the same grace you extend to others who come to you with their struggles. You\u2019re cool. You deserve it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Best of luck. And if you\u2019re still having trouble getting there? Feel free to practice on me. Shoot me an email or DM me on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. If there\u2019s anyone who understands feeling incompetent and having to ask someone else for help and being afraid to do that, it\u2019s this chick right here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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